It All Feels Like an Ending

by The Upside

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credits

released 25 May 2012
Recorded, Mixed & Mastered by Rob McGregor. Produced by The Upside & Rob McGregor. Words by Jason Small, Music by The Upside

tags

tags: pop-punk punk alternative florida gainesville music pop pop punk punk rock studio upside Gainesville

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all rights reserved

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about

The Upside formed in early 2011 and quickly released "Down for the Fount Count," a 4-song blast of catchy, aggressive pop- punk produced by Less Than Jake's Roger Lima. The latter half of 2011 was spent playing shows around Gainesville and writing "It All Feels Like an Ending," a full-length LP produced by Rob McGregor @ Goldentone Studio (Against Me, Hot Water Music) to be released May 25th, 2012 ... more

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Track Name: Revolution
Hey, I don't remember your name
And I don't remember what it felt like
I don't remember what it felt like
Wait, is that a smile on your face?
I don't remember what it looked like
I don't remember what it looked like

All these silly things that you say
Like “I never liked you anyway”
I'd find it funny but I know that you don't
A revolution in my veins
I'm pumping harder every day
To make up for a time when my blood ran cold

Wrap it up, make it hurt
Just the way that I deserve
Wrap it up, make it hurt
More than words

All these shitty things that you say
Like “I never loved you anyway”
I'd find it funny but I don't feel anything
A revolution in my brain
That leaves me numb to everything
But the taste of a relapse on my tongue
I suppose
Track Name: 11:59
Do you hear wedding bells?
'Cause I hear sirens on the way
Do you hear them?
And I'll tell you something else
With every little lie you've told
You're starting to believe them

(Christ, your head is full of answers
To questions no one asked
And you'll never make it to the future
If you forget the past)

And I'll tell you something else
With every fucked up thing you've done
I no longer want to hear it
Your day is winding down
Yeah it's eleven fifty-nine
And it's time to fucking seize it

(CHORUS)

Another lightning bulb
Flashes atop your head
Another brilliant plan
That falls apart in your hands
In your hands
Another bright idea
How to save the day
And turn your life around
But it won't be okay
Okay?

(CHORUS)

So don't forget the past
Track Name: Life Goes Off
Every waking hour
I'm running scared
To see you at my doorstep
I'm so unprepared

Remember all the Texas winter nights
We'd drink away the cool
I was such a fool
When I think about just how cold I am now

Every season comes and goes
But not in my home
The leaves may change outside
But in here I wouldn't know

Remember all the empty bottle fights
We'd fuck to make it right
I miss those nights
When I think about how angry I am now

(Share with me
All you've come to know
And I will let you go
Back on your own like before
I won't ask any more
We'll call this the final score
Bury me
In a pile of blankets
That used to smell like you
It may sound pathetic it's true
But at twenty-two
What else am I gonna do?)

Remember all the Texas winter nights
We'd drink away the cool
I was such a fool
When I think about how lonely I am now
Track Name: You Dream Too Small
Let's take it easy
Let's take it slower now
That we're older
We've been through some hard times
But every heart is breaking
But yours and mine tonight

And I'll meet you in there
Though I know you don't care

You dream too small for what you're made of
And it all comes down to this

Let's take it easy
The days are longer now
And the sun is out
We've been through some hard times
But every heart is breaking
But yours and mine tonight

And I'll meet you in there
Though I know you don't care
And everyone is singing

You dream too small for what you're made of
And it all comes down
To whoever catches your eye when you're on that train
Whoever passes you by when you leave in the morning
Whoever catches your eye
Whoever passes you by when you're on your way

Let's take it easy
Let's take it slower now
That we're older

You dream too small for what you're made of
And it all comes down
To whoever catches your eye when you're on that train
Whoever passes you by when you leave in the morning
And I'm dreading the day that I
Wake up alone to find you on your way
Track Name: Disheveled
Take my hand and we'll pretend to be something we're not
And pray we don't get caught
And exposed for all our fraud and tarred and feathered
Cast out of our homes and forced to wander alone
Get set upon by crows to pick our bones

Take control
I'm no one's fool but my own
It's my own fault I feel so low
A knuckle-dragging nobody
Broken down disheveled
A sight to see for sure
Neither the illness nor the cure
Just a six-foot strung-out sugar pill
And I'll wait around

For every single holiday
That you planned for me was a lie
And I wanna take 'em back
You left me to remember when
If we meet again in this life
I don't wanna take it

('Cause every other day, Every other day
All I ever want is any other life, any other life
I'm wearing thin
Where do I begin to take it back)

I don't want to be here at all
I don't want to feel so small
I don't want to know I'm wearing out my welcome
If I ever had one
If I ever had the chance to be free
I would fucking leave

And every single harmony
That you sang with me was a lie
And I wanna take 'em back
You left me to remember when
If we meet again in this life
I don't wanna take it

You're the heart in this heart attack
I'm the wind at your back
Track Name: An Ending
There comes a time in every boy's life
When he has to say fuck it and stop feeling paralyzed
There comes a point when it all feels like an ending
And you have to stop pretending what you're defending is worth the fight
And if you're not opposed to marriage
And if you're not opposed to speaking the truth
Why does everything I say hurt you
Now it's time to head down to the liquor lake
And dip my figurative wings in some literal alcohol
And stumble back and forth across the bed
And fumble with these feeble fingers fucked out of my head
And if you're not opposed to lying
Why not go ahead and slaughter the lamb
And leave me here with this blood on my hands
I still don't understand
Now it's time to head down to the liquor lake
And dip my figurative wings in some literal alcohol
And run up to my room and lock the door
Try to ignore your ever-pounding fists and cries for more always more
And yeah a part of me still loves you
But a bigger part of me wants to break your fucking neck
And though the hate will fade in time
I'll never be fine
Track Name: Revelations
I'm gonna jump right out of my skin
If I think for just one second
That I might lose you again
These love songs are revelations
But if you've heard this one before we can change the station
I could change your mind
We could change our names and leave behind
All the elaborate things we never did

I'm gonna drink right out of my mind
And smoke your love to the filter
With each breath trying to find a reason why
You always choose hesitation
I'm losing steam and sleep and trust and patience
But I'll be fine
I'll take it one night at a time
And dream of the simple things I never did

(And if it's the end
At least I've got my fingers
And if it's the end
At least I've got my friends, yeah
And if it's the end
At least I've got this feeling
That all that I can do is begin again)

And I never lied
When I said I never wanted
Any of this
Fine, never mind
You're out the door and I'm out of my mind
When left to imagine what I never could

(CHORUS)

Fine, never mind
You're out the door and I'm out of my mind
When left to imagine what I never could
Track Name: Totem
I paid the price and I'm out the door
I wrapped my head around it
You're better without me around
I'd tell you what I'm fighting for
If you could wrap your heart around it
You're better without me around

Don't cry
You've never been the type
So why start it now

Drowning all my loneliness
Every single night
It's all right
No more late night phone calls home
Every single night

I saw the signs like a totem pole
And I wrapped my car around it
'Cause I'm better without me around

I won't cry
I've never been the type
So why start it now
Track Name: Bluecreek Lane
All the bills are paid
All the phone calls made
The map is up on the wall
There's boxes in the hall
Haven't slept in days
The nervousness keeps me awake
It's crowded when I stand up
And lonely when I fall

(We were gonna take the world by storm
Five souls waiting to be born
We'll hang a gold record up some day
But not in the house on Bluecreek Lane)

And the van broke down
In another podunk town
They don't even sell beer here
How am I supposed to calm down
Another temper lost
Another show canceled on us
We'd try to keep the dream alive
But there's none left to discuss

(CHORUS)

And it'd be lovely to recall
A happy ending for us all
In the brotherhood of the traveling bottle
It's good to see you, how have you been
Still wrapped up in the same old shit?
Not growing up just getting older
Track Name: Found Out
I'm a little mixed up tonight
And my head is pounding
And I'm a little afraid to find what I've been looking for
It's a little cold out tonight
But my palms are sweating
And I'm a little afraid to find what I've been looking for is
You

And I'm on the upside tonight
But the downturn is coming
As we shy away from all the lights that shine on us tonight
And I know that in hindsight
I'll see through your disguises
But against all advices I just can't keep my wanting hands off
You

(And we're moving
Fast through the weekend
Like we're trying to hide it
And everyone is looking at us now
We're found out
I kinda can't help it
And it's no big secret
And everyone is looking at us now
We're found out)

It's a little-known fact of life
That sometimes you get what you wish for
But wishes come with catches
And kisses yeah they'll catch up to
You

(CHORUS)

And I know you want to blame me for the heartbreak
And it's the hardest part to find
And I know you hate me for the same reason
The reason
And I know you want to blame me for the heartbreak
And it's the hardest part to find
And I know you hate me for the same reason
The reason
Track Name: Resolution
About ninety miles out on the interstate
I can finally feel the pain I escaped
I sing along to these city lights
And I don't miss you at all

I'm so tired of running
So tired of running
I'm so tired of running
So tired of running

My list of goodbyes has been thrown away
My throat can barely choke and my heart just breaks
I came alive in your silhouette
But I don't miss it at all

I'm so tired of running
So tired of running
I'm so tired of running
So tired of running

I want it all or everything

You said we passed like
Two ships in the night
More like we crashed and we sunk
And there were no survivors
You said we passed like
Two ships in the night
I said yeah right more like
This whole thing is fucking stupid
And so are you